The Zambia National Mens Network for Gender and Development (ZNMNGD) has called for the abolishment of dowry or bride price commonly as Lobola charging that most families are now using it as a tool for profit making.
Dowry or bride price commonly known as Lobola is a pre-wedding African practice that has been in existence since 300 BC where money and gifts are presented to the girl’s family in form of compensation for the lost services of the girl and for raising her well.
In earlier times cattle was often used as Lobola payment but today, payment inform of cash is also accepted.
Speaking in an exclusive interview with the Zambian Business Times -ZBT, ZNMNGD National Coordinator Nelson Banda charged that some families are now going as far as charging some men over K50,000 for reasons that their children are well cultured and educated which he said is unfair to the men whose parents also spend a lot of money on their education and upbringing.
Banda said that as opposed to most families using Lobola as a tool for profit making by charging men exorbitant amounts, Lobola is meant to be an appreciation to the parents of the girl for having looked after their daughter and should be done accordingly.
He further added that the huge amounts of dowry being charged to most men is also the major cause of gender based violence.
Banda noted that most men are using the huge payments they make to the woman’s family as a justification to mistreat and abuse their wives.
He reiterated that Lobola is unfair to the men and should be done away with .
Banda further added that he sees no reason as to why some families charge men huge amounts of money as bride prices when the wife’s relatives will still be asking for help from the man and when the money in question can also be used by the couple to start a new home.
“For us our argument is that Lobola payment is a trigger point for gender based violence because you don’t need to own someone like the way one owns a car that is a human being who needs a companionship and that is why we are saying that this Lobola payment should be done away with. Lobola payment is not fair because the man could even be more educated that the woman. What we should be looking at is that both parents contribute towards their children’s education. The man’s parents could have struggled to take their son to school and equally the parents of the girl could have also sacrificed sending that girl to school,” he said.
“There is therefore no justification as to why some people demand for astronomical amounts from the man’s side and when the man becomes violent they start complaining because most men use the huge amount they are charged with as a justification to mistreat their wives.I also see no reasons why some people charge huge amounts when those relatives will still be coming to the couples house to ask for help of which the guy will also be helping.In the olden days people could pay a simple Chitenge or an axe like where I come from. “
“Lobola should be an appreciation to the parents of the girl for having looked after their daughter and should be done accordingly unlike going commercial because now Lobola has now gone commercial and that is why we have a problem with Lobola payment. I have heard of people who get charged as much as K50,000. A human being is not supposed to be sold but appreciated. What we are seeing now is that people are paying as much as K40,000 to K50,000 and some of the reasons people are giving for charging that much are reasons such as their children being well cultured, their being educated and being university among other funny reasons. What is more important is love if people love each other let them begin from there but to demand for K45,000, I think that is too astronomical because that money can be used by both parties when that are married to start a new home,” said Banda.
